The Farm Wife Sagas

It might be one of the most important jobs on the farm… yet also one of the least desired: the gate opener.

It’s usually the one riding shotgun—the person who hops in and out of the truck or tractor to open the gates to pastures and fields. I used to dread it. If it’s dry, you’re coated in dust. If it’s cold, you’re freezing. And if it’s raining? Well, you’re wet and grumpy.

But over time, my perspective shifted. I’ve come to see it as a small but meaningful way to stay involved on the farm—especially on days when I’m not needed for the heavy lifting.

Is “gate opener” an actual job title? Technically, no. Could my husband hop out and do it himself? Of course. But does it make his day a little easier when I do it? Absolutely. And that, to me, is the heart of a good partnership.

Marriage—especially on a farm—is about more than just love. It’s about teamwork. It’s about being present, stepping up, and making life easier for each other, even in the small stuff… like opening the gate in the pouring rain.

Over the years, I’ve talked with other farm wives and heard a wide range of involvement—from those not involved at all, to those only helping when it’s convenient, to those who run the operation side-by-side with their spouse. And honestly, every relationship works differently.

When I was working full time—putting in 60+ hours a week—I was somewhere in the middle. I loved my hobby animals like Georgia (my sweet Jersey cow) and my goats, but I didn’t always have the time or energy to be fully hands-on. When I left public work to become a stay-at-home mom, though, everything changed. I didn’t just want to be around the farm—I wanted to be part of it. I wanted to help wherever I could and really pull my weight in this partnership.

Because the truth is, I couldn’t be the wife who said, “That’s not my job,” or “I just want a break.” We were down a salary, up a toddler, and deep in this together. So I made a choice—to be more present, more involved, and more supportive.

So now? I don’t mind being the gate opener.

It may not be glamorous, but it’s one more way I get to be part of the bigger picture. It’s one more way that I get quality time with my family on the long days and get to have the nonchalant conversations while riding from field to field—and that, to me, is everything.