The Farm Wife Sagas

“The people you are around the most is the type of person you will become.”

Have you ever heard that saying? I have, and not only heard it, but lived it. I’ve seen firsthand how those closest to me have shaped my decisions, my personality, and even the way I dream. I’ve also seen the other side, how certain people in my life have revealed what I don’t want to be like, showing me paths I don’t want to follow.

As a mother, this truth feels even heavier. Every day I think about the influences in VJ’s life and how they will shape her future. I want her surrounded by people who pour goodness, kindness, and strong values into her, people who encourage her to grow into the best version of herself. At the same time, I know I can’t shield her forever. One day she will face voices, habits, and examples that may not align with the values we are teaching at home.

That is why Colton and I see ourselves as her first and most important influence. We are the starting point of her future. The way we speak, act, and treat others will shape the standard she carries with her into the world. That truth challenges me daily because it means that even in the little things, like how I react when I am tired, how I speak about others, or how I treat strangers in passing, I am teaching her what is “normal.”

But here is the part that really makes me pause. It is not just about the influences around us, it is about the influence we are.

It is easy to point out who we don’t want to be like, but it is harder to ask ourselves the deeper question: What type of influence am I on others? Do my words leave people feeling encouraged or drained? Do my actions point others toward kindness, patience, and grace or away from them? Am I modeling the kind of life I pray my daughter will one day live?

The truth is, whether we realize it or not, we are influencing someone all the time. Our children, our spouses, our friends, our coworkers, even the cashier at the grocery store. Every interaction plants a seed. Some of those seeds grow into life-giving encouragement, and others, if we aren’t careful, can grow into weeds of negativity.

So while I pray that VJ is surrounded by good influences, I also pray that I am a good influence, not just to her but to everyone God allows into my circle. Because influence is not only about who we let shape us, it is also about who we are shaping.

At the end of the day, none of us will be perfect. We will make mistakes, lose our tempers, or say things we wish we could take back. What matters is that we keep coming back to love, to grace, and to the example of Christ. As Proverbs 27:17 reminds us, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” May we sharpen each other toward goodness, not harm.

So I’ll leave you with this challenge. Take a look at the circle of people who surround you. Are they helping you grow into who you want to be? And just as importantly, what kind of influence are you leaving on the lives of those who cross your path?